How Deviant am I?

Part 1      

My life’s experiences, as a child and an adult, have tremendous influence over my behavior and actions. Some of these experiences have led me to participate in both socially acceptable and unacceptable acts, which constitute as deviant. Looking back on my adolescent years it’s easy to see how these experiences shaped my perception of society, and how I adapted my behavior accordingly. My journey from retreatism to conformity (1) has been the consequential paths of the societal pressures in which I have been under. The repercussions of my deviant behavior are what reinforced or challenged those notions that I formulated, and continue to develop today.

I was thirteen the first time I ran away from home. Severed family ties combined with feelings of desperation broke my attachments that I may have had as a child to socially acceptable norms or a strong belief in morality. Durkheim explains, “We are moral beings to the extent that we are social beings” (2, pg.30). My frustration with people and society in general, manifested into anger, resentment and a sense that it didn’t matter what anyone thought. Control theory helps explain my deviant behaviors that continued to develop. Hirschi states, “…if he is insensitive to the opinion of others-then he is to that extent not bound by the norms, he is free to deviate” (2, pg.30).

I adapted to the sense of isolation by associating myself with people whose motives and attitudes mirrored my own (3).My best friend, Sylvia, became my partner-in-crime. It was during this time that I learned the techniques necessary for my survival on the streets of Seattle (3); how to divert attention from the store clerk so that Sylvia could steal food, beer, and other supplies. And how to break into vacant houses, cars and apartment laundry rooms, club houses and swimming pools to get clothes, take showers, find shelter, or steal things that might be useful to us.

I left home for good and dropped out of school at the age of 14. Homelessness and drug use led me down a path I didn’t want to take. Unfavorable outcomes began to outweigh the favorable results of violating the law (3). I was fifteen years old when I sought out help through a friend’s mother, became a ward of the state and moved into a loving foster home. I went back to school, earning straight A’s, got an internship and a part-time job, attended counseling, remained sober (well, mostly anyway!) and spent time forming bonds with my new family and friends. Those bonds became the foundation for a renewed belief in society, structured norms, and attainable goals (3).

My hesitation to share my less-than-ideal personal experiences in this blog for fear of pity, shame or being labeled was balanced out by my wanting to demonstrate how deviant behavior is a reaction of societal pressures, and how overcoming challenges can reshape your perception of society. Being an under-employed, 33 year old single mom/college student (with tattoos and red hair nonetheless!) probably still makes me a deviant, but it’s a label I’m willing to accept.

Word Count for Part 1: 610

Works Cited

1.   1. Strain Theory: Merton, Robert K., Ch. 3 of Readings in Deviant Behavior by Calhoun, Thomas C., Conyers, Addrain, and Thio, Alex. 2010. Pearson Education, Inc., Boston, MA.

2.   2. Control Theory: Hirschi, Travis., Ch. 5 of Readings in Deviant Behavior by Calhoun, Thomas C., Conyers, Addrain, and Thio, Alex. 2010. Pearson Education, Inc., Boston, MA.

3.   3. Differential Association Theory: Cressey, Donald R. and Sutherland, Edwin H., Ch. 4 of Readings in Deviant Behavior by Calhoun, Thomas C., Conyers, Addrain, and Thio, Alex. 2010. Pearson Education, Inc., Boston, MA.